What is Sexual Orientation OCD?
By : Katherine Pica LCSW
Have you ever questioned if you’re going for the right people or are in the right type of relationship? Maybe you’re entirely single and wondering if you’re going after the right person. Or maybe you’re in a committed relationship and want to make sure that your person is, in fact, your person.
Maybe you’ve watched a TV show or a movie and were surprised by the character you were attracted to. Or maybe you saw someone while you were walking around town or at your local gym who caught your eye. You liked their look and thought they were attractive. Now with OCD, you’re wondering if you’re still in love with your partner or if you like a different gender altogether.
If you find yourself contemplating or perseverating on trying to figure out who you are attracted to, you might be experiencing sexual orientation OCD.
What is Sexual Orientation OCD?
This is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that involves intrusive thoughts and compulsions around a person’s sexual orientation. Individuals struggling with sexual orientation OCD may have fears about their sexual orientation. They may constantly wonder if they have a different sexual orientation than they initially thought. For example, someone who is straight may question if they’re gay and vice versa.
What are Common Obsessions in OCD?
Sexual orientation can feel like a very important part of someone’s identity. This is why OCD can latch onto it so strongly. No matter how someone identifies, the pattern of obsessions tends to look very similar. People may find themselves questioning whether their sexual orientation is different from what they have always believed, or worrying that they do not truly understand themselves.
For example, someone might notice an attraction, a thought, or a reaction and begin to analyze its meaning. They may question why they noticed a person’s appearance, replay past experiences, or search for signs that confirm or disprove their fears. For individuals with strong cultural or religious values, these thoughts can become even more distressing, especially when OCD starts to intertwine with fears about identity, belonging, or acceptance. At its core, this is often less about sexual orientation itself and more about the discomfort of not knowing and the need for certainty.
In relationships, OCD may also lead people to question their feelings toward their partner. They might worry whether they are truly in love, if they are being honest with themselves, or if they are in the “right” relationship. These doubts can feel very real and convincing, but they are part of the same OCD cycle that keeps people stuck in questioning and uncertainty.
Common Compulsions of Sexual Orientation OCD
The compulsions of sexual orientation OCD are very similar to other types of obsessive-compulsive disorder. These are some of the most common compulsions of sexual orientation OCD:
Avoidance: A person experiencing sexual orientation OCD may try to actively avoid people or places that may trigger their intrusive thoughts. For example, they may avoid hanging out with their friends if they feel closer to their friends than to their partner in their relationship. They also may avoid going to the gym if they think other gymgoers are attractive to them. They may even avoid watching certain television shows or movies for fear that they’ll think an actor or actress will trigger their intrusive thoughts.
Checking: Checking in with self or body part to see if they feel the person is attractive
Compulsive Dating: Someone dealing with this type of OCD may try to compulsively date as a way to reassure themselves. By going on dates, they’ll be able to calm their intrusive thoughts by forcing themselves to be with the “right” kind of person.
Mental Review: The mental review can cause individuals with OCD to spiral with reviewing and questioning their past actions and thoughts. They may think about people they liked in the past, like in high school or college. Replaying memories or moments is very common with sexual orientation OCD.
Repeating Statements: As a way to temporarily relieve their anxiety, statements may be repeated almost in a ritualistic way. For example, a person might repeat a statement about their identity multiple times whenever a thought or feeling creates doubt or discomfort. This is an attempt to feel more certain.
Seeking Reassurance: Another compulsion of sexual orientation OCD is constantly seeking reassurance. For example, someone experiencing these OCD intrusive thoughts may reach out to loved ones, like family and friends, to see what they think their sexual orientation is.
How to Get OCD Therapy in San Diego, CA
Just like any other type of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, you aren’t alone, and help is available to you. No matter how you identify or what your sexual orientation is, there is hope. Our approach at Resilience Counseling is rooted in evidence-based treatment, with a strong focus on Exposure and Response Prevention.
At Resilience Counseling, our Science-based, compassionate OCD therapy, our goal is to help you learn the tools and skills to overcome OCD. Through Exposure and Response Prevention, we help clients practice accepting uncertainty without trying to resolve it.
How to find OCD Therapy near me
When working with an OCD therapist, it’s important to ask them how they deal with your subtype. We have worked with and have specialized training for OCD, and more specifically, how to deal with so many different types of OCD, including sexual orientation OCD. We have helped so many overcome their struggle with sexual orientation OCD, and we would love to help you, too.
San Diego OCD treatment near me
Sexual orientation OCD can feel especially isolating because it targets something so personal, and many people worry about what it might mean or how it will be perceived. The thoughts often come with a strong sense of anxiety and distress. This can lead to constant compulsions or mental checking and comparing. Over time, this cycle becomes exhausting, and instead of gaining clarity, it often creates more confusion and distress.
At Resilience Counseling, we are committed to helping people reconnect with their lives outside of OCD. If you are struggling with sexual orientation OCD, you are not alone, and effective help is available. As OCD therapists, we teach practical tools and skills to help you better manage symptoms and step out of the OCD cycle. There is real freedom in learning a new way to respond. We offer in person therapy in San Diego and virtual sessions throughout California. If you are looking for support, we are here to help. We have worked with many individuals who have been able to loosen OCD’s grip and move forward with their lives. Contact us today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
About the Author: Katherine Pica OCD Therapist - San Diego, CA
Katherine Pica, LCSW is the Founder and Clinical Director of Resilience Counseling. She leads the clinical vision and supports the development of the practice’s OCD therapists. She has been in practice since 2007 and has over 19 years of experience. Katherine provides supervision and ongoing training to her team, with a strong emphasis on Exposure and Response Prevention and ACT for OCD, along with EMDR for trauma.
In addition to her clinical work, Katherine is actively involved in the broader OCD community. She serves as a board member of OCD SoCal, contributing to efforts focused on education, awareness, and expanding access to effective treatment and resources.
Resilience Counseling provides in person therapy in San Diego as well as virtual services across California. If you are looking for support, contact us to get started.
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